Monday, April 5

"You got to cry without weeping
Talk without speaking
Scream without raising your voice"

-Mother, why did dad have to go?

The young boy looked at his mother. His eyes where red from tears.
-I don't know..He just had to..

Mara closed her eyes. She could remember when she met her husband the first time. They both knew that their bond was a difficult one, but their love was bigger than that. Her appearance had changed, his had not. Although he always assured her that he always saw her as the same, unchanging as he was, she knew that she wasn't the same. She had gotten old.

-Sorry if I made you cry, mom.

Realising that tears run down her face, Mara looked up and wiped her face dry with the sleeve of her tunic.

- It's alright, son. My loved son. Know this in all times: You are special, so very special. Your father gave you a heritage that no one can take away from you.

- You know mom, he comes to me sometimes. In my dreams. He doesn't speak, but I know that he watches me. It's just that...

The boy fell silent, and Mara could see tears swelling up in his eyes.

- He doesn't come as often anymore. And I miss him. I don't feel... whole.. when he is not there. I wake up in the morning.. and parts of me has gone.

Mara couldn't help but smile. Although Rahnasto, her son, hadn't seen his dad for many years, almost an entire lifetime for a young boy, somehow he could express himself in ways similar to his father.

- Well then, let's hope that he comes to you tonight, I wouldn't want to you to lose any important parts.

She knew that Rahnasto wanted a better answer, more consolation, but she was in deep need of that herself. In the morning, she thought, then I'll have better answers.


"I disappeared in you
You disappeared from me"

The 30-year old Rahnasto looked at his aging mother. Winter had finaly released it's grip on the fields and the nearby woods. Each winter had weakened his mother more and more. He wasn't sure that she could survive another one.

But then what? He had always been told that he was special. The kids and the adults in the village didn't seem to think so. They only thought that he was different. Lately he had felt so alone. He loved his mother, and would miss her if he lost her, but not even she could make him feel less lonely. The only time he felt complete when was he had his dreams about his father. These dreams, however, didn't come as often anymore.

He wanted his father. Somehow he knew that he had to know who his father was to feel complete again. All he could remember was a man of light and warmth. A man of wisdom and brilliance.

He and his mother had talked about this for some weeks. She had promised that it was alright for him to wander the wilderness for a time. He had some hopes that this would help him find more of himself. But when he left home and looked back home, seeing his mother, he felt a twing of sorrow in his heart.


"I left with nothing
But the thought you'd be there too
Looking for you


Yeah I left with nothing
Nothing but the thought of you
I went wandering
"

He had been gone two months when he returned. His travels
had made him grow. He had learned to shoot with a bow even better, he was more experienced in hunting and living on what the forrest could give him. In short, he had grown more able to take care of himself.

When he returned, he could see his mothers cottage from across the fields. It was quiet and still. No smoke rose from the chimneystack and no flowers was planted in the flower bed.

Bursting through the front door, the sight that met him filled him with sorrow. His mother lay in her bed, looking pale and weak.

The night that followed, his mother died. Her last words was that he should never forget that he was special. So very special, and that she loved him as much as she had loved his father.

In the days that followed, he buried Mara under the peach tree behind the cottage. He then packed his things and saddled the pony. After a final goodbye to his mother and his old home, he left.

He was more alone than ever. Missing his mother, missing his father and, more important, missing himself.

"I am still enchanted
By the light you brought to me
I listen through your ears
Through your eyes I can see"

At the age of 34, Rahnasto has begun meeting other people. His adventures has made him grow even more. At first he only followed others orders, always unsure about what to do. As time went, he has shown more initiative and has become slightly more secure in himself. He still doesn't know who he is, and when he is in new groups, his old insecurity shows again.

Not to far ago, he met a lady in one of the courts he visited. Even though they are not a couple, Rahnasto has vowed to return to her. The knowledge that she is there, waiting for him, has given him a sense of purpose and self that he has lacked earlier.

Lately, the dreams of his father has returned. This time his father is more active. Still not speaking, but his eyes are more focused, his face more open. In the dreams, ancient battles can be seen, heroic deeds and great realms. At first, this visions frightened Rahnasto, but after a while he felt connected to them. Somehow he knew that in these dreams lay the key to who he was.

Following his dreams, and gaining more and more experience, Rahnasto is slowly starting to grow and realise who he realy is.